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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826875">Shadows of Uncertainty</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherin_vikiss/pseuds/Slytherin_vikiss'>Slytherin_vikiss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blades of Light and Shadow (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Mentions of Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:40:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,980</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherin_vikiss/pseuds/Slytherin_vikiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a series of one-shots which compiles small moments throughout Cirilla's life</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tyril Starfury/Main Character (Blades of Light and Shadow)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. To Be Loved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Some days, when Kade slept peacefully underneath the safety of their bedroom, Cirilla would put a fist to her mouth and cry herself to sleep.</p><p>There wasn't much to the room they lived in. It was made of wood. Floors, walls and roof, the last which had some holes to it. It made for a nice view of the stars during summer, some in view, some in hiding, it gave the feeling of spying something wonderful but prohibited. This changed during the winter, when the holes became threatening nightmares, and even during rainy days. It wasn't that the siblings hadn't tried to patch it up. They had, but now they were at a point in which the only solution was to build an entire new roof, and neither had that kind of gold. It'd require big pieces, and so far they had managed with the broken ones the carpenter sold them for practically nothing out of pity.</p><p>That night, a nice breeze filtered through, lovingly caressing her face and cooling down her body from the day's heat.  Cirilla closed her eyes. She liked to pretend it was her mother's soft touch to her cheek.</p><p>She had never really known her parents, the only memories she had of them were bright flashes of colour and a mass of indistinguishable voices. For all she knew, those could only be her imagination, a way to cope with her loneliness, not real at all.</p><p>What she was certain was real was the smell of burnt flesh and the pain on her feet from walking all day long, her sweaty hand disgusting from holding Kade’s all day long, fearful that if she let go for one single moment he’d disappear. She also remembered a merchant founding them on the side of the road the next day, and bringing them back to his village. He took care of them for six months, treated them like his own, and then he was up and leaving once more, having put his trade on hold for far too long. He left them on their own on his humble home, the neighbors promising to watch them, make sure they were alright ‘till his return.</p><p>Almost twenty years had gone by, and he was still away.</p><p>The village was poor but the people generous and kind, and even though some villagers fed her and clothed her, they never really took her and Kade in the way she hoped the merchant had.</p><p>After a few years, she swallowed the reality with resignation (that man was probably dead, or he had abandoned them), and instead focused on Kade.</p><p>He wasn't really her brother, and they were the same age, but he still possessed some childish innocence and faith in others that Cirilla wanted to keep alive.</p><p>He couldn't see her cry. </p><p>They both wanted more than what they had, things they couldn’t even imagine, which was natural considering that they had nearly nothing. A life of adventure, said Kade, and Cirilla agreed.</p><p>A life of adventure meant to be a hero, and heroes were loved.</p><p>Maybe such life would fill the void those boys and girls that had passed through her life couldn't, despite her endless tries.</p><p>She hoped so.</p><p>Kade did a good job of making her feel like she was worth something, but he was just one person and most days Cirilla was too busy saving his ass to notice what was amiss.</p><p>The peace of the night was beautiful, but also haunting, and her greatest enemy. When Kade slept deeply,  mumbling every now and then, drooling quite often, Cirilla was left to wonder what it felt like to have someone looking out for you, someone who cared. Having someone depend on you exhausted her sometimes, but not enough to quiet the voice in her head, the one that told her no one wanted to deal with her, at least not for a long while. </p><p>She turned on her side and set her eyes on Kade. He may not be able to look out for her, but he cared, truly. Whereas it was because they were the only ones left from their village, the only consistency in each other's lives, it didn't really matter. What mattered was that at least one person loved her.</p><p>The tears dried on her cheeks and Cirilla smiled a broken, half thing.</p><p>Maybe one day she'd fill the void.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Shadows of the Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shadows of the Night</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Waking up with a startle, Cirilla’s hand shot up at the ready.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt as if her eyes were too open, having been sleeping so heavily, making the edges feel somewhat dry and strained, but she forced them to remain so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Running a hand across her sweaty forehead, she sat up on the soft bed and looked around. The shadows cast by the objects in the room conspired against her sanity, so with a hand clutching her heart, she let the other one roam over the silver candlestick and felt it warm up, her magic producing a small flame. Taking it in her hand, she kicked the blankets and set herself free.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The floor was cold, and it felt strange for her to shiver, since she used to know what true cold was like.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, she made her way around the room, checking for every object in the room to convince her mind that they were no enemies. Still, her heart beat as fast as a rabbit’s run, and as hard as war drums.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She headed over to the open balcony doors and stepped outside, shivering against the winds of spring. The light died, and her hand closed around the candlestick in response, then placed it on top of a small table to her right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Some comfort was given by the torches lit beneath the elven city of Undermount. She could also hear the faint voices of some elves. The closest ones seemed drunk, which had her shaking her head in what almost was fond amusement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elves. They were all a mess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing, up at these hours?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, most elves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Looking up, the outline of the Deadwood greeted her eyes, reminding her that her nightmares were once extremely real. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cirilla shook her head,  gaze ahead, as if expecting for something evil to shot up into the skies from the woods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nothing. Return to bed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it those dreams again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Yes, but it’s nothing, truly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was resigned to live the rest of her live haunted by the Shadow Court and the blood and disgrace they had carried in their step. There was nothing anyone could do to banish them from her dreams. Nia couldn’t help, and neither could Tyril, although his resolve seemed unwavering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He came to stand by her side, the moon and stars reflecting on his fair face. He almost looked ghostly with this light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I have dreams as well, sometimes."he confessed, his serene voice taking flight and sailing across the space. In the moment of silence before he continued, Cirilla felt as if the night had turned somber and trembled again, shifting closer to him. "I keep waiting for something to come haunt us, so I sit in that chair by that corner,"he said, pointing at the place "and I stand guard 'till sunrise."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why don't you wake me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"My nightmares don't seem as bad as yours. I won't deprive you from whatever rest you may get."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We're supposed to be fair with each other."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I still manage more sleeping time than you. I believe we are indeed fair."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cirilla sighed, closing her eyes in fond exasperation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You…"she turned to look at him and smiled. Stepping closer, she took him by surprise with a hug. "Have I told you that I love you lately?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He put his arms around her, his warmth and loving touch easing her worries. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You have, but I don't mind hearing it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked up as he looked down. Her breath caught in her throat and slowly  as if to not ruin the moment, she reached up and cupped his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had all the intention of leaning in to kiss him, but then he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her forehead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We can leave Undermount. Go as far away from this place as you wish to." He said, his voice low and pained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You don't wish to leave your home, Tyril." She responded softly. She understood why he didn't, at least not for long periods of time, despite all that had transpired there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'd do it for you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With shoulders too heavy for one so young, she spun around and took the two steps needed to reach the stone banister. Laying her hands flat, she stared at the darkness ahead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leaving would only mean that she wouldn't really see the woods, but her memory was unfortunately good, and she needed only to close her eyes to remember the horrors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was almost no place in the continent that wouldn't bring some sort of painful memory to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leaving wouldn't fix her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I will see it anyways."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Then we can move out of my family's home."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I doubt your sister will like that."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"She will understand, I'm sure."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And move where?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"A nice house on the lower levels, perhaps. Behind the great houses so they will hide the view."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not seeing it won't steal it from my mind."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He remained silent for a few moments.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I could--"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Tyril--"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Cirilla--"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Tyril." She said again, more firmly. "It's alright. I like it here. Your sister's home is much more than I ever imagined, and she needs you here. Especially for today."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We could try, at least, my love?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cirilla felt another shiver going up her spine, and when she closed her eyes, she felt, for one moment, that she wouldn't be able to force them open once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Imtura struggled to rise from the ground, her right arm almost completely severed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She opened them again, finding only her husband in front of her, looking nearly sick with worry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We can try a small house if you truly want to." She conceded, heading back inside. "Maybe close to the city walls."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That would give them too much shade and make the house colder, but a fireplace could mend that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She got into bed and curled into herself, trying to regain some warmth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bed dipped behind her, and she heard the soft sound of sheets shifting as Tyril moved closer and placed his arms around her. She snuggled up against him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Unless it's too far away from here?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Its not. We'll go anyplace you want."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Does this means we can skip tomorrow's feast and go explore the city instead?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt his chest vibrating with his quiet chuckle against her back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Do you really wish to risk disappointing Adrina?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cirilla thought about it. Tyril's younger sister was simply a beacon of light, there was no way to not like her, and she was always so kind to Cirilla. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fine." She buried her cold nose against the pillow. "So long as you don't leave me alone with </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We'll avoid House Greenleaves like the plague itself."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If there were elfs whose eccentricities bordered their grip on reality, it was that family. Cirilla was certain they did it on purpose to stand out, but all it truly did was keep the other houses away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You speak as if they weren't it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You make a point, dear."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt his arm snake its way around her and her body relaxed little by little. The oddly shaped shadows didn't seem as threatening now but still, she turned around and buried her face into his chest, not trusting herself to not stare and try to convince herself otherwise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They're just shadows." He spoke softly, calmly, though his grip tightened. "They can't hurt you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It wasn't always so."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, but it is now. I promise."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
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